Exemplary Women: KHADIJAH RA (Part 1)

Let’s discuss her family first. Both her parents were from Quraysh. Her father’s name was Khuwaylid who was the son of Asad. Khadija belonged to the tribe of Banu Asad.

(We really want to say radi Allahu anha every time her name is taken but if we do that our flow would be disturbed. The respect and love we feel in our heart cannot be expressed in words so we will not be using it every time her name is taken. Allah is pleased with her which we will see later also. It is understood since we said in the beginning Alhamdolillah.)

Khadijah was from Banu Asad which was a small sub tribe of Quraysh. Khadijah’s paternal grandfather was Asad (father of Khuwaylid) who was son of Abdul Uzza who was the son of Qusay. Here at Qusay her genealogy meets that of Prophet Muhammad SAW. Basically, Prophet’s family and Khadija’s family branch off from Qusay. Her father’s name was Khuwaylid and mother was Fatima bint Zaidah. Khuwaylid had a brother Nawfal who was Khadija’s paternal uncle. Nawfal’s son was Warqah bin Nawfal.

Khuwaylid was the leader of the Banu Asad and a successful businessman. Not only did his tribesman respect him but because of his character and honesty he was highly respected and popular amongst the entire Quraysh. Khuwaylid was the leader of Banu Asad and Abdul Mutallib was the leader of Banu Hashim. Usually, people of status either compete against each other and become enemies or love each other a lot. Latter was the case with Khuwaylid and Abdul Mutallib. They were very close to each other because their manners and character were very similar. Both of them defended the Kaaba when Abrahah attacked it. We know that Abraha tried to attack the Kaaba in the ‘year of the elephant’ and Allah destroyed him and that he was from Ethiopia. So, people of Mecca obviously wouldn’t love people of Ethiopia who tried to attack the kaaba. So, what happened was that when Allah destroyed Abrahah a man named Saif bin abi yazan, Saif (which means sword) from Himyari tribe conquered Ethiopia and defeated the Ethiopians. At this point a delegation went from Mecca to congratulate them. Both Khuwaylid and Abdul Mutallib were part of it.

Since they were both highly respected, they were part of the delegation of dignitaries. After Ethiopia, Saif established his kingdom in Yemen which was under the control of Ethiopians. Some narrations relate that Saif called Abdul Mutallib near him during the meeting and told him some signs regarding the Prophet SAW. Saif bin abi Yazan knew that a prophet is about to come to Mecca. He said there will be a child born in your tribe and area, take special care of him and protect him from the Jews and convince your people to obey him. He even told Abdul Mutallib about the seal of prophethood. You will find a lot of narrations regarding this. The seal was between the Prophet’s shoulders. According to some narrations it was a raised piece of flesh in the shape of a pigeon’s egg and there were a bunch/ cluster of moles on it. This was a special characteristic which was mentioned in the Scriptures of the people of the book. He also mentioned that the seal of prophethood would be between his shoulders. He pointed out a lot of personal characteristics and qualities which would be present in the Prophet. Also that he would be an orphan. Abdul Mutallib said that all you say is present in my orphan grandson even the mole between his shoulders.

We only know this much about Khuwaylid and from this we can gauge the kind of personality and character he had. And in turn we can also imagine many of the qualities that Khadija must have inherited from her father.

Let’s come towards her siblings now. She had three brothers and one sister. The brothers were called Hizam, Awwam and Nawfal. One Nawfal was her uncle and one is her brother. So don’t get confused between the two. Sister’s name was Hala.

Hizam’s son Hakim bin Hizam is a famous name found in Seerah. Hizam was around 13 years older than the Prophet SAW (please keep in mind that Arabs did not keep records of birth and death so the ages are just an estimation and there is always room for addition or subtraction).

Hakim bin Hizam was the paternal nephew of Khadija. He was extraordinary because he is the only man in the world who was born inside the Kaaba. We cannot imagine this as today we only see huge crowds of people and the door of the Kaaba is not accessible and only opens once a year and even then, only a few people are allowed inside.

However, in its original form, the door of the Kaaba was not this high. It was fixed on the ground. And there were two doors: one to enter and one to exit. At that time there weren’t crowds of millions of people so some women went inside and one of them went into labour which was so severe that they didn’t even get a chance to come outside. So, Hakim bin Hizam is the man who was born inside the Baitullah.

Hakim bin Hizam had all the qualities that Arabs considered essential in a man. He was a very brave warrior and at the same time a poet and a very generous man. These kinds of people were called ‘Kaamil’. Usually those who write poetry are not brave, those who will pick up pens don’t pick up swords and those who pick up pens try to conquer only with their words. Those who pick up swords become hard-hearted. However, he was great with the sword and the pen and at the same time was very generous and soft-hearted and did not harm anyone.

He was a close friend of the Prophet SAW but did not accept Islam. But he also never took part in any battle against Islam. Not in Uhud, or Badr or Khandaq. At the time of Conquest of Mecca the Prophet SAW specifically mentioned a few names in a special dua asking Allah to open their hearts to Islam. Whose name do you think was included in the Prophet’s dua? Hakim bin Hizam! Allah answered his dua and Hizam accepted Islam and he took part in the battle of Hunayn with the Prophet SAW. It is said that he died during the time of Muawiyah RA. What do we learn from this? One can have the highest moral character but your heart might not open to Islam. These are Allah’s decisions and there is a time ordained for everything.

This was one brother Hizam. Another brother of Khadija was Awaam. Her extremely famous nephew Zubair bin Awaam was one of the Ashara e Mubashirah, ten who were promised paradise by the Prophet SAW in a hadith. Awaam was married to Safiya, the Prophet’s paternal aunt. Intermarriages were preferred and common in those days. We will see that there were hardly any two tribes who were not related through marriage. In this way another common bond was found between the families of Khadija and Prophet SAW. The other one was their common ancestors when their lineage met at Qusay and then Prophet SAW ‘s aunt got married to Khadijah’s brother. Both the brothers Hizam and Awaam and according to some narrations died in Harb al Fijar. This battle took place between the tribes of Quraysh and Huwazim. The Prophet SAW was a part of this battle but because of his young age did not take part in the actual fighting. He later told people that I was a part of this battle but only picked up arrows and handed it to my uncles.

Khadija’s third brother was Nawfal. Who was the other Nawfal? Khadija’s Uncle. Today we do not have this practice of giving a child the same name as someone in the previous generation. We like to give our children new names. They didn’t have this tradition. They constantly recycled their names. They would name their children after their ancestors: either grandparents or uncles and aunts. Her third brother Nawfal witnessed the advent of Islam. Quraysh loved him a lot and was known as the lion of Quraysh. Imagine what a brave warrior he must have been. However, he was a staunch opponent of Islam. The Muslims called him Satan of Quraysh. So, Quraysh themselves called him lion of Quraysh while Muslims called him Satan of Quraysh. This narration is found in Ibne Ishaq. Contrary to his father, Nawfal’s son Al Aswad was one of the early Muslims and he migrated towards Ethiopia.

Once Nawfal saw Abu Bakr and Talha bin abi Ubaidallah go somewhere. Keep in mind that Abu Bakr was from a very honourable family. Usually youth from prominent families were spared from the torture and persecution in Mecca. All the anger was targeted towards the weak Muslims which included male and female slaves. They would vent their anger on the likes of Khabbab, Bilal, Ammar, Summaya and Yasir radi allahu anhum.

Usually, they wouldn’t touch people like Omar RA and Abu Bakr RA. But Nawfal’s enmity was so strong that once he saw Abu Bakr going somewhere. Abu Bakr held a high position and made decisions of diyat and was an expert on inheritance laws so even in the pre-Islamic time he had a high status in Mecca.

So, he saw Abu Bakr and Abu Talha and jumped on them and tied them with a rope. After great difficulty and deliberation, people managed to free them. Because of being tied up together, people started calling Abu Bakr and Talha ‘Al Qarnain’ (ones that were tied together). Talha we know is also from the Ashara e Mubasharah (ten who were promised paradise) and Abu Bakr‘s status is unmatched.

During the Battle of Badr, Nawfal came with the army of the disbelievers and was killed by Hazrat Ali. These were the three brothers of Khadija. She also had one sister called Halah who accepted Islam. Khadijah married her eldest daughter Zainab to Hala’s son Abul Aas.
Abul Aas didn’t accept Islam immediately. He converted much later after the battle of Badr after a specific incident that led to his conversion.